Alone time...

I guess I needed it. While it is true that I do not enjoy traveling alone nearly as much as I do traveling with friends or - dare I say it! - family, it is probably not as extreme as I alluded to in my previous post.

After spending quite a bit of time meditating, I have finally fully accepted the fact that I have basically been screwed throughout most of my Japan experience. Accepted and embraced. While there has been a lot of shit going down, it has also been a wonderful experience. I would like it to be over for now, and to come back again in the future when I'm not restricted by School, but...

This is not why I started this post. After spending time relaxing and doing some things I have been wanting to do for a long time (such as the pixel art, more of which I will post below), I am once again in the mood to explore. I would love to have someone along with me, but what can I do about that? Nothin'.

Today I walked along Insadong. Supposedly it is the most traditionally Korean street in Seoul. (Or is it all of Korea? I forgot!) It was recommended to me, along with, specifically, a place called simply Old Tea Shop. After walking up and down the street (dong means street, I think, or something similar), I found the particular alley I was meant to walk down to find the tea.

I ordered some cinnamon tea. I am not a huge fan of tea - you might even say I actively dislike it. This shit was the shit. So good. I have never enjoyed tea so much. The place also had a great atmosphere! The owner lets these pretty little birds fly all around inside the place. I am no ornithologist, so I have absolutely no idea what kinds of birds they are, but there were orange, white, blue... An assortment. I have read that sometimes they will hop down on the table and eat the crumbs of your rice cake, or land on your shoulder, but neither happened to me. It's all good, though. It was nice to just sit in there and drink that super delicious tea.

It is only a fifteen minute walk from my motel so I think I am going to go back there at some point. Shame no one is here to share it with me. )':

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Here's some more pixel art! I made each of these for a NeoGAF isometric city, as found in this thread. Everything is filled with GAF and/or video gaming in-jokes (many of which I don't get). Including my entries. They've all seen multiple versions and edits and will probably see more. Especially the graveyard which will grow larger soon.

PC games are the best, and so are the people who play them.

You're either with us or against us.

Franchises die and are reborn.

Pound that F5 key! REFRESH THAT PAGE.

Wow. What? Wow. WOW!

Look! I made a fing! Innit great?

I kinda sorta gave up on isotown for now. I got obsessed with finishing ol' slimy up there. But I did manage to make some further progress. See?!

So clearly I am making great use of my time! Before I started with these pixel shenanigans, I was kind of sitting around doing nothing. Now I feel pretty good, even though I'm probably not making the best of my time in Korea.

But actually now that I did this I feel more like exploring. I think I will go to Gyeongbokgung Palace Museum tomorrow! At least, I think that's how it's spelled. Anyway, I know where it is because I found it when I got lost looking for the Japanese emissary a couple weeks back. I don't really know what to expect, to be honest. I just hope they have things written in English for li'l ol' me.

I feel like I'm not putting as much effort into writing these posts as I was in the beginning. As in, the actual writing is not as good as it was prior to... I don't know. A few posts back, I guess!

Oh well.

Onward! Laundry ho! (Washing by hand? It sucks. Especially when all you've got are a shallow sink and your bare hands. Oh, and detergent.)

Progress and Insights

Look I added a dumpster and sidewalk and road!

I won't pretend this is even good. But the more I practice the better I get, right? It's mostly the scale of things that I have problems with when I do this. I had to resize the road three times, and I think I should probably make the sidewalk smaller. (I actually did make smaller tiles, I just didn't replace it yet. Figured I'd think about it.) And the curbs might need to be shorter? Hmm.

I was going to make a haunted house but then I started and I didn't know where to go after I made the house. Thought I'd go back to something simpler.

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In other news, I've been in Korea now for two weeks. I've gotten over the misery of being stuck in a place I don't want to be. Even so, I have yet to do anything exciting. I haven't done much exploring.

I find I have no real desire to do these things when I'm alone. It's like... I dunno, what's the point? I could go see cool places and then talk about them, but it's not the same. And every time I go out and walk around, I just feel... well, lonely I guess. No, when I'm alone, I prefer spending my time doing things like this. Or like practicing pixel art. Reading books. You know, alone time things.

Of course, that doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm wasting an opportunity. I mean, I'm in Korea! Why the hell am I sitting around in a motel room waiting to be able to go back to Japan?

I know I should go out, but I don't want to do it alone. Not that I have a choice, right?

I still have two and a half weeks (ish) left here. We shall see. We shall see.

Side note: Thus far not a huge fan of the food. The spicy seafood soup I had at "Asian Fusion Restaurant" was awesome, but everything else has been underwhelming or disgusting. Kind of disappointing actually.

The beginning

Oops I fell and dropped something.

THAT'S RIGHT. A cube. An orange cube. I followed Pixelblink's tutorials. I stuck with orange 'cause I like orange, too!

I also did his second tutorial.

This kind of stuff is pretty easy. But what will I do when I have to make something complicated that's not all angles! That's the difficult stuff! A teapot? A dog? A giant monster with tentacles going every which way?!

Oh well, I'll jump that hurdle when I reach it. For now I'm enjoying it. Hurray!

Now what should I make next...

Things I can't do

As much as I appreciate the opportunity I have to visit Japan (and now Korea), it's somewhat annoying that I can't do certain things I would be able to if I was still in America.

Aside from the more basic desires to play some heavy-duty PC games or Wii or 360 or whatever, there are other things I can't do. Of course, I can't see any of my friends back in America. I wouldn't say I'm homesick, exactly, but I definitely miss things from home.

First and foremost on that list lately is that I want to make a game. I ache to make a game. When I think about making a game, I get that fluttery feeling in my gut, you know? Excited butterflies, though, not nervous! I have so many ideas in my head and on paper. I just want to get crackin'!

Frustrating, though, is that I'm somewhat restricted in what I can do while I'm not in America. Mainly because I don't work alone. Nor do I want to. Furthermore, the discussion aspect of game development is so much better in person. Doing it online via instant messenger just isn't enough for ironing out the details.

So, in the end, I'm quite limited in what I can do in terms of game development. Where does that leave me? I'm not sure.

One of the areas we're (we being me and my one friend) certainly lacking talent in is art. Neither of us are any good. I can't speak for him, but I know that at least I can envision perfectly how I want things to look, but I can never match what's in my head. I never even come close. I mean, let's face it - I don't have the talent. If there's one talent I wish I had that I don't, it would be art. Drawing especially.

Alas, since I don't have the talent for it, if I want to be able to do it, I have no choice but to work until I gain the skill for it.

If I had a choice for learning a specific type of art right now, though, it wouldn't be drawing. It would be pixel art. I absolutely love pixel art, and it would help a lot in making some of the games I want to make! I've tried it before...


This is something I made... I dunno a year or so ago? Last summer, right before school started. It's for a game we call Spacebat. A shmup. This is Spacebat. He is made of space! It took me a long time to make it. A long, long time. Pixel by pixel, I copied the silhouette of what a real bat looks like. The animation needs some serious work. Maybe I should even make the silhouette more stylized, too. I'm not really sure. I also made some other assets for the game, including the logo for the first level.


Nothing is particularly spectacular, though I am a fan of the way "Ice Age Earth" turned out.

So! Since I'm severely limited in what I can do for game development while in Korea/Japan, AND we are severely limited in our art department, AND I've always wanted to learn, it would probably be prudent to start learning! I've got some tutorials in my bookmarks toolbar up there, ready any time I want to start.

But the problem is starting! Starting is hard.

Enough negativity!

Yesterday I went for a stroll around the COEX mall in Seoul. I never actually went inside, just walked around the outside. They have a big aquarium there, though, so I think I might go in at some point. I love marine life.

At any rate, as I meandered the border of the mall, after eating some super delicious super spicy hot seafood soup, I discovered a festival! Purely by chance. Intrigued and excited, I decided to go into the middle of it all. Only... I couldn't!

I walked the perimeter of the giant crowd of people surrounding the booths and couldn't find a clean entrance. I could've squeezed through some tight crowds watching a performance of some sort, but it would have been quite an adventure.

That and people kept staring at me. It was kind of unsettling. Eventually I stopped behind the huge crowd of Koreans watching the performance (although at that point it was just some guy talking at a podium, words I couldn't even begin to understand). This old lady kind of stared at me for a few seconds, then turned and whispered to her friend. Then the friend turned and gawked, wide-eyed at this behemoth towering over her.

I just laughed.

Even so, that wasn't the first or last stare I would get. There were a few friendly hellos - in English, even! If I was a more outgoing guy, I might have stopped and talked to them about the festival. But for the most part people just looked at me like "what the hell are you doing here?" I never got these looks in Japan; only the curious stares of children. Kids are cute, though, so it doesn't bother me.

I think the festival was some sort of Korean pride thing, so people just generally had no idea what the hell I was doing there. Either way, it was awkward, so I got the fuck out and went back to my hotel room.

An Untitled Story of Unbridled Rage, Unending Frustration and Unrelenting Uncertainty

In high school, I didn't give two fucks about my grades. I just did what I needed to pass. Minimal effort! I "forgot" to do a lot of homework, and then never made up for it when the teachers offered me a chance. I did not study for any tests. I scraped by with a high C-ish average, if I recall correctly. Nothing special.

I am not alone in this, I know!

So, the time came when I had to apply for college. I was not super-excited to move into higher education, but I was looking forward to it. Still, I doubted I would try any harder than I had in high school.

I applied for the University of Cincinnati and Purdue University and a couple others of which I have long forgotten the names. Both UC and Purdue accepted me. I really wanted to go to Purdue, but out of state tuition is a bitch, so I went with UC. The co-op program sounded cool, too! Paid internships, basically, to train me for the real world with real experience as I am studying? Sign me up.

Even still I had no reason to really try.

Then, I went to the freshman orientation engineer presentations. I learned about International Co-op after freshman year, after a 2.5-ish GPA. Pretty mediocre, maybe even bad.

I learned of the opportunity to go to Japan. I have always been a nerd. I have always been fascinated with Japan because of videogames and anime. I have since matured, ohoho, and am interested in Japan and, indeed, all other cultures for completely different reasons, but at the time I just wanted to visit the land that in a large part contributes to my love of nerdy things.

We were told that a requirement for doing ICP is to have a 3.0 or above GPA. WHOA. Suddenly a reason to try! Okay, let's do this! So I did it.

Ever since I entered into the program, and the preparations began, I and others in said program had been told things like, "You will get a job. There's a 100% guarantee. Nothing has ever gone wrong before!" Then the economy fumbled the ball. Still they told us to remain positive! I believed them.

As the time to leave approached I began to worry. I still did not have a job. I am generally a positive guy (at least, in my own head I am), but things were not happening as they should. Time went on and on, and I started to get pretty stressed out about it. My grades even suffered for it. (Yay, excuses!)

Soon enough it was time to leave for Japan and I still didn't have a job. Hey, though, it's okay! To make up for not having a job, UC offered me a scholarship to pay for an eight-week course to study Japanese while living in Japan. Hell yes thank you!

While in Japan, I was put into contact with a guy who was trying to get a job for me with either his company or his friend's company. I was thankful for this. Hope returned. Then he kind of disappeared off the face of the earth. I assumed that meant he was unsuccessful and wary of telling me for some reason. This was within the first two weeks, so I had plenty of time to get over it and set my mind positively to returning home.

Fast forward about six weeks. I was enjoying my time in Japan immensely and ready to go home in a couple weeks. I had long made peace with the fact that I was not going to stay as long as I had originally believed. I began making plans for once I returned home. I had plans! Glorious plans!

Then I received another email! A possible job offer for an IT position. I was a bit wary, but I didn't let that stop me from jumping at a chance to stay in Japan even longer!

After a week and a half of painful uncertainty, I just wanted everything to be over with. I wanted to be back in America and be done with it. But then! It was confirmed that I got the job! I only had to fly to Seoul and give some papers to the Japanese Embassy. For some reason, Japan requires that you be out of the country to receive a working visa. That's fine, though, as the first month's pay would more than make up for the cost!

That was my logic.

At this point, though, I was still somewhat uncertain as to what exactly I needed to do once I arrive in Korea. Unfortunately, I was being rushed by both sides. Unfortunately, but understandably! The company wants me to start working, and the school wants me to start working. Hell, I want me to start working. So I went out and bought an expensive round-trip ticket to Korea. I could have gotten cheaper (about half the cost!) if I wasn't being rushed, but shit happens.

With the required papers, vague instructions on what to do, and hastily constructed plans, I fly to Korea. Pretty frickin' nervous, as it is the first time I have ever flown on a plane by myself, let alone to another country where I have no inkling of the language.

But it will be fun! I am sure of it.

I landed. I was accosted by taxi drivers and gave in and paid ridiculous money for the ride. Oh well. It was easier than getting lost on the trains on the way to the hotel, right?

Next day! I went to the Japanese Embassy! I only got lost three times on my way there. Walked past it twice. Finally I just started asking random people if they spoke English, and if they said yes, I asked them to point in the right direction. I went inside the building, to the 7th floor, handed the guy behind the desk my papers... pretty satisfied and looking forward to being done with this so I could enjoy my visit to Korea. So looking forward to this.

Alas, it was not meant to be. My company forgot to give me the certificate of eligibility - the most important of papers for getting a working visa! I returned to the hotel, somewhat upset, and contacted the company.

The next day I had a photocopy via email, a fax, and a copy via snail mail in my hands. Pretty fantastic. It is official looking, got stamps and shit on it. Excellent! This time I found the embassy right away. When I gave him this paper, he informed me that... oops it isn't actually the certificate of eligibility.

AGH.

It's Friday! The embassy is closed on weekends! My plane leaves Sunday! Shit. Goddamnit. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I rush back to the hotel, posthaste - well, okay, I stopped to eat - and contacted the company again. I told him all about how I was going to be stuck in Korea and have to buy a new ticket once I could actually leave since I couldn't change my flyback date

So now... My positivity has melted away completely. I know I am screwed. I was told before I came to Korea that if I couldn't get the working visa, I wasn't going to be able to get a tourist's visa to get back into Japan. In other words, there was the possibility of getting stuck in Korea. I was a little scared of that happening, despite the reassurances that it wouldn't. WELL NOW IT HAS. Great.

I am just so tired of this frustrating uncertainty. And after all the hard work I've put into it, since I learned about the program. "Welcome to the real world," my dad told me.

That doesn't help. ;_;

Of course, despite all this shitty shit that has happened to me, my time in Japan has been wonderful. Some other time I will write a more positive post about my overall experience. Probably!

And one day, ONE DAY I will learn to fluently speak the language and be able to roam the streets of Japan without stumbling over every other word. ONE. DAY. (I hope!)

Think positive, think positive! Ugh.

And thus ends my first and hopefully last stupid rant.

Haha, rant. That reminds me, once in my angsty teen years I thought it would be cool to make a website where all I did was write about stupid things that annoyed me. Remember that, L.J.? I bet you do.

Ahh, good times.

I love curry.

Which is weird.

Before I came to Japan, I'd tried Indian food on about four different occasions at different restaurants. Curry three of those times. Always hated it.

Then I came to Japan and had some Japanese curry. I like it. It's pretty good!

Then we found a Nepali curry place in Sangubashi. OH MAN. Wonderful!

And then this gem: pumpkin and chicken curry. During my last week of class in Iidabashi, we discovered an Indian curry restaurant. So. Good.

I love curry. I love nan. Maybe one day I'll venture elsewhere in the wide world of Indian food.

I'm in Korea; how did I get here?!

This morning a most dreadful thing happened. The last week of my life got erased! I don't know why or how it happened.

I'm afraid.

Every picture I took, gone! Tried three different recovery tools this morning. No good! Finally I gave up and tried to do what Windows told me to do - reformat. It didn't work! Not only did I lose the pictures, I also lost my SD card. Ugh.

Frustration.

For now I am using the miniSD card I previously used with my R4. Which means I have no games with me. I left all the actual physical copies of my games in America. Naturally! Why bring them to Japan when I don't have to?

Ahhh.

First impression of Korea: oppressive! Not in a negative way, but... Something, something. More thoughts to come after the first full day is over. Probably.

What is a man?

Earlier today I ate at KFC. I saw nothing bizarre on the menu so instead I ordered a chicken fillet sandwich with fries and melon soda. It was decent.

There were no men at KFC. None. I didn't realize it until I walked upstairs and sat down, but there were only women in line when I ordered. There were women only upstairs. Even all the children were female.

It was kind of strange.

As I left, one man walked in to order. It's my theory that Yokosuka's KFC allows only one male inside at any given time. All others are convinced through some mystical force that, actually, they'd rather have McDonald's today!