Something different

[jonzo] hey i wanna write about something
[jonzo] give me a topic
[axord] write about going back to japan to sucba dive in caves
[axord] caves found ON TOP OF MNT FUJI

Such an activity would probably be the pinnacle of all activities. The epitome of sheer cool. The ultimate in badassery.

I don't think anyone could argue this. Unless they are a fun-hater. Are you a fun-hater? I didn't think so.

The other day I was hangin' out with me mams and somehow the topic of space came up. I don't remember why. I told her I wanted to go to Mars and that if I did, I could die happy. She seemed shocked by this and took it pretty seriously... And although I meant it to be taken in a humorous fashion (as I am quite the joker), I was being serious after a fashion.

I don't fear dying. I don't fear much at all, really. I'm ready to live life to the fullest. (Inasmuch as I, personally, enjoy life.) However! I still wish I could live forever. When I think about all the things I won't see in humanity's future simply because I won't be alive, it bothers me significantly.

What is going to happen to humanity? Will we kill each other off? Will we finally find peace? These are the boring questions. No one with an imagination like mine gives two measly wossnames about that nonsense. The real question is this: What will we find out there? Other intelligent life forms? Or are we completely alone? Either way, we can at least spread out, explore, terraform and oh man I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.

Space. It's awesome. And, granted, there's still a lot we don't know about our own planet. We have yet to dive to the deepest depths of the ocean. New species of land animals are still being discovered all the time. There's also all that stuff we don't know about us. There is much to learn. But, at least for me, the most exciting thing we can do, the thing that yields the largest potential, is exploration. Oh, to be alive in the days of yore when those brave souls sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and discovered the Americas. Can any of us really imagine what that must have been like? Of course not! With the rare exception of those who have been in space, I imagine.

So, back to Mars. Will we land on that glorious red planet and at last find evidence of an ancient Martian civilization? Uh, most likely not. But it is the next obvious step. Let's get the fuck out there and stop meandering down here on Earth, eh?

SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER.

I would absolutely jump at the chance to go to Mars. Without hesitation, and even if it meant I would never be coming back. Not only would it mean I had accomplished something huge with my life, but it would also hopefully be the catalyst for the human species to open their eyes and look to the stars once more.

Dream Big, Jonny Boy.

Of course, all this is moot because I'm too fucking tall to be an astronaut. Thanks NASA. (Go go privately-owned-and-operated space exploration!)

The new me in the old world

Sheeeit, mang. Who am I? Where am I? what am I doing? It's like a whole new world! I am doing things this year I never thought I'd be doing when I started college. Always have been a bit of a, uh, what is it... socially inept sort of fellow? I'm probably still awkward but at least I don't care anymore. Well, mostly. Of course, I have Japan to thank for that. Old news. Old. News.

The point is, I went caving last weekend with UC's Mountaineering Club. But I'm a little too... shall we say husky for it. I couldn't fit into the crawlspaces with everyone else, so while they were off exploring, I was stuck waiting in the dark cave alone. Which, in itself, was kind of a cool experience. For a while I had my headlight on, but then I figured why waste the battery, and turned that sucker off. (Actually it was just to get rid of all the fucking bugs flying around my goddamn head.) I've never been in pitch blackness before! Actually, I have to be honest. There was a small point of very dim light that pointed to the entrance to the cave... But other than that I couldn't see a damned thing! I could hear shit, though. Drip drip goes the water. And I think I heard cave crickets crawling around my head - there was some weird sound I couldn't identify, but that's my best guess.

It was bizarre.

Anyway, yeah, I couldn't fit in the crawlspaces. Or at least I felt like I couldn't. Maybe I could've fit through at least one of them, if I forced my way through, but I felt pretty good and stuck before I was even halfway, and I guess I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get BACK through. I'm not claustrophobic by any stretch of the imagination, but... hey. It was a new thing for me. I'm allowed to be a frightened little child.

What I'm trying to get at here is that this is the first time my weight (that is to say, my overweight, my physical girth) has actually impeded on my ability to enjoy life. I mean sure, because I'm out of shape, I might get tired easier than other people, but it's never outright prevented me from doing something. It was... kind of depressing. It's not even like I'm ginormous, either, I'm just too big for the wossnames, you know.

I really was excited for caving, too. It's one of those things I've always wanted to do.

I wonder, though, if I'm just too big even if I was in shape. I'm not a small guy! I mean, 6'4" is nothing to scoff at! Who knows. The only way to find out is to get in shape, and that's what I've been working on since the school year began (albeit sporadically - I really should stick to the fucking schedule, eh?).

On a happier note, I'm second in the reserve line for the trip to Mt. Washington this February. Only second! I should probably be bummed I'm in the reserves and not going on the trip, since unlike a lot of people in the club, I am a senior. However, senior or not, I'm still new to the club. Shit go down like shit go down. Besides, it's probably better if I don't go. 1) I'm broke. 2) I dunno if I could handle the trip in my shape. 3) It'd be happening right in the middle of when I should be working on my senior design project.

Three great excuses to not be sobbing myself to sleep. Good enough for me.

Life is grand, ain't it? (This is not a sarcastic remark, despite what the context may imply.)