An Untitled Story of Unbridled Rage, Unending Frustration and Unrelenting Uncertainty

In high school, I didn't give two fucks about my grades. I just did what I needed to pass. Minimal effort! I "forgot" to do a lot of homework, and then never made up for it when the teachers offered me a chance. I did not study for any tests. I scraped by with a high C-ish average, if I recall correctly. Nothing special.

I am not alone in this, I know!

So, the time came when I had to apply for college. I was not super-excited to move into higher education, but I was looking forward to it. Still, I doubted I would try any harder than I had in high school.

I applied for the University of Cincinnati and Purdue University and a couple others of which I have long forgotten the names. Both UC and Purdue accepted me. I really wanted to go to Purdue, but out of state tuition is a bitch, so I went with UC. The co-op program sounded cool, too! Paid internships, basically, to train me for the real world with real experience as I am studying? Sign me up.

Even still I had no reason to really try.

Then, I went to the freshman orientation engineer presentations. I learned about International Co-op after freshman year, after a 2.5-ish GPA. Pretty mediocre, maybe even bad.

I learned of the opportunity to go to Japan. I have always been a nerd. I have always been fascinated with Japan because of videogames and anime. I have since matured, ohoho, and am interested in Japan and, indeed, all other cultures for completely different reasons, but at the time I just wanted to visit the land that in a large part contributes to my love of nerdy things.

We were told that a requirement for doing ICP is to have a 3.0 or above GPA. WHOA. Suddenly a reason to try! Okay, let's do this! So I did it.

Ever since I entered into the program, and the preparations began, I and others in said program had been told things like, "You will get a job. There's a 100% guarantee. Nothing has ever gone wrong before!" Then the economy fumbled the ball. Still they told us to remain positive! I believed them.

As the time to leave approached I began to worry. I still did not have a job. I am generally a positive guy (at least, in my own head I am), but things were not happening as they should. Time went on and on, and I started to get pretty stressed out about it. My grades even suffered for it. (Yay, excuses!)

Soon enough it was time to leave for Japan and I still didn't have a job. Hey, though, it's okay! To make up for not having a job, UC offered me a scholarship to pay for an eight-week course to study Japanese while living in Japan. Hell yes thank you!

While in Japan, I was put into contact with a guy who was trying to get a job for me with either his company or his friend's company. I was thankful for this. Hope returned. Then he kind of disappeared off the face of the earth. I assumed that meant he was unsuccessful and wary of telling me for some reason. This was within the first two weeks, so I had plenty of time to get over it and set my mind positively to returning home.

Fast forward about six weeks. I was enjoying my time in Japan immensely and ready to go home in a couple weeks. I had long made peace with the fact that I was not going to stay as long as I had originally believed. I began making plans for once I returned home. I had plans! Glorious plans!

Then I received another email! A possible job offer for an IT position. I was a bit wary, but I didn't let that stop me from jumping at a chance to stay in Japan even longer!

After a week and a half of painful uncertainty, I just wanted everything to be over with. I wanted to be back in America and be done with it. But then! It was confirmed that I got the job! I only had to fly to Seoul and give some papers to the Japanese Embassy. For some reason, Japan requires that you be out of the country to receive a working visa. That's fine, though, as the first month's pay would more than make up for the cost!

That was my logic.

At this point, though, I was still somewhat uncertain as to what exactly I needed to do once I arrive in Korea. Unfortunately, I was being rushed by both sides. Unfortunately, but understandably! The company wants me to start working, and the school wants me to start working. Hell, I want me to start working. So I went out and bought an expensive round-trip ticket to Korea. I could have gotten cheaper (about half the cost!) if I wasn't being rushed, but shit happens.

With the required papers, vague instructions on what to do, and hastily constructed plans, I fly to Korea. Pretty frickin' nervous, as it is the first time I have ever flown on a plane by myself, let alone to another country where I have no inkling of the language.

But it will be fun! I am sure of it.

I landed. I was accosted by taxi drivers and gave in and paid ridiculous money for the ride. Oh well. It was easier than getting lost on the trains on the way to the hotel, right?

Next day! I went to the Japanese Embassy! I only got lost three times on my way there. Walked past it twice. Finally I just started asking random people if they spoke English, and if they said yes, I asked them to point in the right direction. I went inside the building, to the 7th floor, handed the guy behind the desk my papers... pretty satisfied and looking forward to being done with this so I could enjoy my visit to Korea. So looking forward to this.

Alas, it was not meant to be. My company forgot to give me the certificate of eligibility - the most important of papers for getting a working visa! I returned to the hotel, somewhat upset, and contacted the company.

The next day I had a photocopy via email, a fax, and a copy via snail mail in my hands. Pretty fantastic. It is official looking, got stamps and shit on it. Excellent! This time I found the embassy right away. When I gave him this paper, he informed me that... oops it isn't actually the certificate of eligibility.

AGH.

It's Friday! The embassy is closed on weekends! My plane leaves Sunday! Shit. Goddamnit. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I rush back to the hotel, posthaste - well, okay, I stopped to eat - and contacted the company again. I told him all about how I was going to be stuck in Korea and have to buy a new ticket once I could actually leave since I couldn't change my flyback date

So now... My positivity has melted away completely. I know I am screwed. I was told before I came to Korea that if I couldn't get the working visa, I wasn't going to be able to get a tourist's visa to get back into Japan. In other words, there was the possibility of getting stuck in Korea. I was a little scared of that happening, despite the reassurances that it wouldn't. WELL NOW IT HAS. Great.

I am just so tired of this frustrating uncertainty. And after all the hard work I've put into it, since I learned about the program. "Welcome to the real world," my dad told me.

That doesn't help. ;_;

Of course, despite all this shitty shit that has happened to me, my time in Japan has been wonderful. Some other time I will write a more positive post about my overall experience. Probably!

And one day, ONE DAY I will learn to fluently speak the language and be able to roam the streets of Japan without stumbling over every other word. ONE. DAY. (I hope!)

Think positive, think positive! Ugh.

And thus ends my first and hopefully last stupid rant.

Haha, rant. That reminds me, once in my angsty teen years I thought it would be cool to make a website where all I did was write about stupid things that annoyed me. Remember that, L.J.? I bet you do.

Ahh, good times.