Slapstick haters be damned.

If you hate this, you hate life.

On Saturday I went to Nikko. At Nikko I visited two shrines and one temple. (If I recall correctly.)

It was neat. But I'm not sure what I can say about this kind of thing that I haven't said already. Pictures would do wonders here. Maybe I'll dig a bit out tonight.

What few words I can say: we - that is to say Robert, Tyler, and I - had the opportunity to hear the dragon's roar. Or shriek, more like, I suppose. A monk duder hit two blocks of wood together and it echoed. We don't know how it echoed, because the room we were in certainly did not appear to be made for echoes! I guessed maybe some of the things in the room are made to absorb that pitch (it was a rather high pitched noise) and then shoot it back out. But I don't know fizzix, so I was really just pulling it out of my ass.

Maybe dragons are real. O:

And yesterday I went to Akihabara one last time, with Robert. And I bought a ton of crap.

A side note: I wonder how many people secretly despise me because of my abrasive and argumentative nature. What can I say? I love arguing, whether I'm right or wrong, or even whether there's even anything to argue about or not!

金持ち

I am not. A rich person, that is.

And yet, what have I been doing for the past two days? Spending ridiculous amounts of money!!

When I first arrived in Japan, the trains were intimidating. Slowly I grew more accustomed to the system. Then, I started thinking they made traveling easy. Now I know it's too easy! "Oh, it's only an hour and a half to get to the middle of Tokyo from my place." Right! "Oh, it's twenty bucks round trip..." IT ADDS UP.

Ahh, but I never really regret it, do I? Nah.

On Saturday, I took a trip to Yokohama. The first place I went was Chinatown. It was a rad maximum stroll, let me tell you. One of the cooler places to just Enjoy the Sights. Yeah, it's just a Chinatown, but so what!!

Yokohama is also having a big 150th Anniversary celebration this year. (IIRC, it's 150 years since they opened their port to the world.) What I specifically wanted to see was the GIANT ROBOT SPIDER. Uuuunfortunately, the ticket to get in the Bayside area and see it was 2,400 yen. I gambled and lost. The spider was cool to look at and all but it wasn't worth 24 buckaroos. I also didn't get to see it move (but that was by my choice -- more on that later).

I expected the whole thing to be pretty big if I was going to pay 2,400 yen, but alas, it turned out to be rather small! I was very disappointed. It was all in Japanese, too, which I expected, and yet I still expected more.

Live and learn, right? Seems to be something I say a lot lately. O:

I thought about sticking around to see the robot move (I'd have to wait an hour), but it was getting dark, and I wanted to see the Terraced Rice Fields in the light of day, so I hauled my ass out to the Hillside area of the celebration. Another 600 yen to get in there.

Yeah the "fields" were about as big as a large bathroom. They were indeed terraced, though! I'm sure that, once again, it was more exciting for non-gaijin.

So after that rather disappointing venture squared, I worked my way to Landmark Tower, home of the fastest elevator in Japan, according to the signs. I took full advantage of my Bayside ticket and got 500 yen off the 1,000 yen ticket to the top. Whoopee.

At the top it was amazing, though! Some more rad maximums! The view was great, and I got some great pictures of the view! All the pretty lights...

Oh, and I found another Jump Store in the Landmark building, and bought Wanted, the book by Eiichiro Oda, which contains a couple shorts, including the second of two One Piece pilots, entitled Romance Dawn. I actually intended to go into the Pokémon Store but got distracted. And then the stores were closing. Oops! It's not like I wanted to buy a stuffed Pikachu or anything to hold at night.

Yesterday was a good deal more expensive, though, but also way more awesome! Except the view from Landmark Tower, I dunno what it'd take to top that. Tokyo Tower was cool, but it was also raining when I went there. So I didn't go all the way to the top.

Hchhhanyway, I met Matt and Tomo at Omote-Sando so Matt could take me to the Oriental Bazaar where I proceeded to buy a yukata. It is, as always, rad maximum. Before that, though, there was some sort of dance parade. I believe the name given to me was Yosakoi? Or Yasokoi. Something like that, anyway. I filmed a bit of it. Pictures didn't really do it justice. In the future, when I am not hampered by the curse of dial up, I will share it with the world. I hope the sound came out all right... The music was sweet!

After the bazaar, we worked our way to just outside Shinjuku. The Square-Enix store. I spent more money there. I bought nerdy things. O:

A plush moogle keychain, a plush slime knight, and four little Dragon Quest figures.

Japan has a TON of those little plastic figures. They're cheap and of much higher quality than I'm used to finding in America. That includes the capsule toys (for the most part). Japan also loves the random. The shelves at the SE store were lined with boxes of figures, only you don't know what's inside until you open it up. I wanted a slime. I got one (1). I think after I get back from Japan, I will write a single post to showcase all my useless swag.

I was hoping the store would have some more obscure Square-Enix merch, but it was mostly just Expensive and/or Cheap merch. It was still cool, though. Where cool = nerd-cool. Or, as I like to call it, rad maximum.

Except when I was walking along and looked down and realized I was standing on a life-sized Sephiroth. That was kind of creepy.

Next up was dinner Hub the English Pub. I had fish 'n' chips AND shepherd's pie. I thought it was pretty enjoyable. Then we parted ways and returned to our various places of residence.

P.S., no, I don't know where I got the phrase "rad maximum" but, yes, it is the rad maximumest.

P.P.S., I may update this post later tonight (tomorrow morning for you crazy wossnames, Amurrkens) with pictures.

P.P.P.S., and here's a picture of my swag:

From left to right, top to bottom... Chopperman from One Piece, Goku from Dragonball Z, two monsters from Dragon Quest, Moogle from Final Fantasy plush keychain, Slime Knight from Dragon Quest plush, some Dragon Quest arcade battle monster card that they gave me for free or something, Sunny's figurehead from One Piece, an Orange slime from Dragon Quest, and a Slime King down a well from Dragon Quest.

The pattern underneath all that swag is my yukata.

If America had this stuff I would be constantly poor. Thank god for shitty quality American goods and far-too-expensive imported goods. Now I need to find a way to have it all on display for my enjoyment, but also hide it from visitors because this is shameful. Downright shameful.

Happy days

Now here are some anecdotes from the past few days. I hope it will be a thrill ride for the ages. But I expect it will be more like a slight bump in the road while traveling at five miles per hour.

Please to be enjoying my story(s)!

I've spent the majority of my freetime lazing about my apartment. Just kidding, I was being productive! Here's my proof: all the graphics I made for a game! It is called Ijaspy, which stands for It's Just a Simple Platformer, Yo. Because I am creative.

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On Tuesday evening, though, I went up to Kameido to join Robert and Matt at the Kameido Tenjin Taisai. (Annual Summer Festival of Kameido.) There were supposed to be 1,100 lit lanterns. I did not count them. But it was pretty cool! A very small and quiet "festival". At least on that night. The lanterns, though, were one of the things I wanted to see before I came to Japan. They're in like everything Japanese that I've ever seen in some fashion. And I finally saw it! Lanterns, lining the river! Well, okay, a pond. Shut up.

It was every bit as awesome as I expected. And by that I mean it was a feast for the eyes, but not much else. A night well spent.

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And last night, I went to Odaiba! While waiting for Matt a Crow sat beside me. I've been trying to get a decent shot of these things since I arrived. I AM SUCCESS.

Matt showed me around the place a bit, and I went and saw the big ol' Gundam, which comes down August 31. It was crowded! At 7pm, the show began. The Gundam turned its head back and forth and steam erupted from mysterious origins!

The Gundam was built for a Green initiative. Environment stuff. In an effort to prove this that didn't involve a giant plastic Gundam model, there was a tent full of trees and beetles. I didn't go in, because it cost 300 yen, but I was able to stand around the back and look inside. The children! They were vicious! One boy picked up a beetle by the head and squeezed the pincers together to pick up another beetle. Jesus! So cruel! There was a pile of beetles where two or three kids kept trying to get the beetles to... I don't know... fight? I guess? Man.

They were big beetles, too. Not like the kind you get back home. If your home is my home.

And then we went to the mall to get something to eat and what did I find but a Jump Shop. Jump is one of the big manga magazines. Home to my personal current favorite: One Piece.

I bou' a li'l su'm su'm. Well, I bought the Laputa robot statue which is in the box and basically impossible to see in Kamakura pre-Kyoto. The Ponyo pins below it came free with the statue. It's a music box! And off to the side is a Chopperman capsule toy I failed to capture in the shot.

And furthermore!

Odaiba has some of the best night shots I've seen since coming to Japan. Man wow.

On the way back from Odaiba, some chick fell asleep on me. Because she was cute and not a big fat smelly mouth breather like the last person who decided I was a pillow on the train, I suffered it. Ohoho. Also she was considerably smaller and at least made an effort to sit up every once in a while, unlike the aforementioned big fat smelly mouth breather who decided I wasn't worth the trouble of being considerate, even when I nearly elbowed him in the side of the head.

When I got off the train I'm not sure how but I sent her cell phone flying. I quickly grabbed it and handed it to her, but she was still half-asleep and would have dropped it if I hadn't given her time to get a good grip. I am so nice! Our gazes locked and nothing else mattered in the world. Then I got off the train.